


Wish

by mhunter10



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Angst, Cute, Fluff, Holding Hands, M/M, Regrets, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-05
Updated: 2016-09-05
Packaged: 2018-08-19 16:51:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8217713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mhunter10/pseuds/mhunter10
Summary: Ian and Mickey talk about when Ian left





	

“I wish I had done a lot of things,” Ian answered quietly, looking at the way his long fingers curved around Mickey’s tattooed ones. He swallowed, mouth feeling dry from the beer, then admitted, “I wish I had stayed.”

Mickey lay still next to him, as the confession seemed to settle around them before floating up towards the night sky. The stars winked at them, mocking them with their promise of dreams come true. Mickey had stopped believing that shit a long time ago around the time his mom was in the hospital the first time. He didn’t know what he meant by asking Ian what he would change if things were different. Mostly he just wanted to know if it was okay to even try to hope for things. And maybe he really wanted to know what Ian was thinking back then. Mickey wanted to know why, but was too afraid to ask. So he settled on the impossible scenario, the time machine complex. It was safe and they were halfway drunk.

Mickey didn’t speak in case Ian had something more to add, because he looked like there was more struggling to get out. When Ian turned their locked hands over so his was on top, Mickey stopped looking at the dark expanse above them. He watched as Ian took his other hand and brushed his fingers along his skin. He hated that his coat sleeve prevented Ian from going higher. Mickey shivered and closed his eyes. He could hear Ian breathing slowly next to him and sliding his palm over his hand.

“Wish I hadn’t been such a pussy….could’ve said something.” Mickey could’ve said something else or something different, but he choked. He cried; tears blurry Ian’s exit from his life. He couldn’t believe it. He didn’t want to. He didn’t, so much so, that he hid outside waiting for Ian to emerge from his house like normal so that he could tease him for being dramatic and then that would be it. They would’ve fucked and that would’ve been it. Or maybe Ian would’ve been done like he said, but at least he would’ve still been there. Linda fired him once Ian hadn’t been there to prop him up, especially since he just quit going in. He trashed the vest and didn’t step foot in there again. Mickey opened his eyes so he could remember how small and unimportant he was. It always seemed to ground him when he was alone, but now it just paled in comparison to the weight of Ian beside him holding his hand on their dark rooftop. “I didn’t think you’d do it.” It was Mickey’s way of asking “how could you do that to me?”

Ian stopped rubbing his hand and just settled it back between them. He sighed, shuffled a bit after lying on flat tar for so long. “Didn’t think I would either.” Ian’s way of saying “I didn’t want to.”

Mickey turned his head to look at Ian. Ian’s eyes roamed the somewhat visible constellations. He could see his eyelashes in the light. His face kind of glowed. Ian sensed him and turned, eyes brighter than the moon. Mickey couldn’t help but lean in and kiss him, barely opening his lips so he could feel Ian’s on them.

When they pulled apart, they looked up, as a cloud covered the moon and stars, drenching them in darkness.

“Wish we could stay up here.”

“Yeah.”


End file.
